


let me down like you mean it

by killsometime



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, California, Identity Issues, M/M, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:07:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27927238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killsometime/pseuds/killsometime
Summary: "You don't match what you look like," Doyoung says."Hmm?" Jaehyun says, scrunching his eyebrows together. "What do I look like?""Untouchable," Doyoung answers. "Like you don't give a shit. Except you really really do."Or, the one where Doyoung spends the summer before his enlistment in LA and meets Jaehyun.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Comments: 6
Kudos: 51





	let me down like you mean it

**Author's Note:**

> 1) Title from the song "Let Me Down Like U" by Ssion.  
> 2) There is a character in this fic who has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. If you think you have a problem with alcohol or other substances, feel free to reach out to me — I'm sober and happy to talk about it.  
> 3) If you want to say hi my Twitter is @cutietaeilie and my CC is @totheuninvited
> 
> Songs for this fic:  
> inimitadora intro (slowed + reverb) - Romeo Santos  
> Colder & Closer - TOPS  
> Starz - Touch Sensitive  
> True Affection - Father John Misty  
> Thicker Than Dust - K Flay  
> Morph - Gemini Rising  
> Stay Away - Carly Rae Jepsen  
> My Love is Real - Divine Fits  
> Deadbeat Boy - Avalon  
> Facade - LDN Noise  
> No Time - Hayden James  
> Just Because - Gemini Rising  
> Magnets (ft. Lorde) (SG Lewis Remix) - Disclosure  
> Lonely - Chloe x Halle  
> Her - Majid Jordan  
> Flash - Roy Ali  
> Leave House - Caribou  
> Lovework - Black Light Smoke  
> Toy - Chromatics  
> Summer Games - Drake  
> Frio - Omar Apollo  
> Sorry (Original Demo) - Beyonce  
> Putting on Airs - Touch Sensitive

Doyoung doesn't understand how the drive from LAX to Jessica's house takes two and a half hours, despite the fact that the GPS says the distance is twenty miles. He's just sat on the airplane for eleven hours and he wants to just be at Jessica's house.

He keeps looking down at his phone even though he doesn't have an American SIM card yet. His KKT has a few messages waiting from friends wishing him a safe flight but there's nothing from the one person he wants to hear from. He'd checked using airport wifi when he landed but there were no messages from Taeyong.

Doyoung doesn't know if that's a problem or a solution. 

Either way, it's part of his decision to come to California. He could've spent the summer following around Taeyong and Yeri like a third wheel and feeling sorry for himself. 

"Are you waiting for a phone call?" Jessica asks. 

"No," Doyoung lies and flips his phone over so the screen isn't visible. "Sorry. I'm not ignoring you." 

"No, it's fine," she says with a smile. "I'm just happy to have you here." 

"Thank you for having me," Doyoung replies, bowing slightly in his seat. Jessica laughs. 

"It's okay. We're more relaxed here. You don't need to be so polite and bow and stuff."

"But you're family," he protests. 

"Exactly. So you can relax around me," Jessica says with a smile as her BMW inches forward. 

"I'll try," Doyoung says. "My parents might kill me if they find out though." Jessica laughs.

"My sister isn't that much of a hard-ass," she says. "But I guess you see much more of them than I do."

Doyoung nods. His parents had been surprised when he told them at the last minute that he was going to spend the summer before his enlistment in America. Jessica is his mother's much younger sister who had moved to California for university and never returned to Korea and Doyoung knows that his mother has feelings about that. He visited Jessica with his parents once when he was younger, but he hasn't been back since. There are photos somewhere at his parents' house of them at Disneyland in Mickey Mouse ears but Doyoung doesn't remember much. He certainly has no recollection of the ugly stretch of freeway filled with cars and lined with brown grass and cement and the smog hovering over the city. 

"It looks like my work schedule is going to be pretty hectic for the next few months," Jessica says, changing into the right-hand lane. 

"Oh. Okay," Doyoung replies, unsure what that means for him. 

"I'll be working long hours, and my office is downtown, so I'll probably be out late and leave early."

"What do you do for your job?"

"I'm in fashion marketing," Jessica says. Doyoung nods. It makes sense -- she'd arrived to pick him up from the airport in a linen jumpsuit and four inch heels. 

"Cool."

"Yeah. My firm just got a bunch of new clients and this summer is going to be crazy in terms of promotions and stuff." 

"Oh. Okay," Doyoung says. 

"You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?" Jessica asks with a laugh. 

"Not really," Doyoung admits. "I'm an accountant." 

"Nerd," Jessica teases. Doyoung shrugs. 

"Yeah. Probably." 

Jessica takes an exit, and Doyoung sees a sign announcing that they're in Agoura Hills. 

"Are we in LA?" He asks. 

"Kind of," Jessica says. "We're still in LA County. It's cheaper to live out here so I've been living here for a while until I can save up for something closer to downtown."

"Oh," Doyoung replies. He looks out the window. It's all rows of foreign-looking subdivision houses here, and brown grass. Where Seoul is built up vertically, California is built out horizontally. 

When Doyoung pictured the summer in LA, he pictured beaches and palm trees, he didn't picture a beige split level house with an attached garage. There is a droopy palm tree in the front yard but it looks like it's closer to dying than anything. 

"Here we are," Jessica says triumphantly. "Traffic sucks in LA, you'll get used to it." 

There's another car parked in the garage when they park, and a few boxes. 

Jessica takes his suitcase inside and shows him around. Her house is simple but clearly taken care of. It isn't the largest house but all the furniture has been maintained well and the kitchen and bathrooms look like they've been recently renovated. 

The guest bedroom on the second floor is small but clean, and even though the bedside table is a moving box it's going to be Doyoung's home for the next few months.

"This is yours," Jessica says. "It's not much because I don't ever have anybody stay over but it's yours. You even have your own bathroom." 

"Thanks," Doyoung says for what seems like the hundredth time since she'd picked him up, and he means it. He'd texted her three weeks prior and asked if he could take her up on her offer to host for a few months and she'd agreed. This is far more than he could've expected. 

"You have your driver's license right?"

"Yeah."

"You can drive the Lexus in the garage whenever you need. I've been meaning to sell it but you might as well use it while you're here."

"Thank you," Doyoung says gratefully. Jessica smiles. 

"No problem. Then you can go and do stuff during the day while I'm at work." 

"That's really kind of you, thank you." 

"God," Jessica says. "You're way too polite. It's exhausting." Doyoung blushes but smiles. 

"I'll try my best to be meaner."

"I'll leave you to yourself," she says. "You probably want to unpack and get settled. There are clean towels in the bathroom if you want to have a shower." 

"Thanks," Doyoung says. "I do." 

"Come find me if you need anything," she says, and closes the door quietly behind her. 

Doyoung flops onto the bed. He just means to close his eyes for a few minutes, but then he wakes up and it's seven at night. 

He feels completely disoriented -- his body is in another time zone. His mouth is disgustingly dry so he stumbles out of his room into the kitchen. 

The house is quiet. Jessica is gone. The air conditioning hums steadily.

Doyoung finds a pitcher of water in the fridge and drinks half of it. Jessica left a note on the kitchen counter saying that she has to go to an event and that the wi-fi password is on the router in her office. 

Doyoung leans against the cool marble counter. He can't really believe that he's here. Only two days ago he'd packed up his desk at the accounting firm he'd been at for the last four years, and then gotten on a plane to a country he's only been to once before. He can't decide if it was a stupid or brave decision. Either way it was entirely un-Doyoung like. 

The sun is setting outside -- orange and purple streak across the top of the sky. It isn't like the usual pastel Seoul sunsets -- this sunset seems more vivid. Like the chroma on the world has been turned up on this side of the Pacific. 

//

He ends up falling asleep at midnight, and sleeping until eleven the next morning. And he still feels like he's been run over by a truck or two. 

The sun is fully out when he stumbles into the kitchen. Jessica isn't home but there are some leftovers in the fridge, and the rice cooker is on warm. 

His second day in California and he has no idea what to do. 

He sees the Lexus keys on the counter and remembers that Jessica told him he could use that car. 

So on a complete whim, he gets his wallet and his phone, and gets in a car that doesn't belong to him. 

He has no idea where he's going. He doesn't even fully remember how Jessica got to her house from the freeway. He rarely does something so impulsive. He's a planner -- he likes routes and itineraries 

But he finds himself on the highway with a full tank of gas, the radio playing music he doesn't recognize, and maybe that's okay. 

He isn't sure if it's just the jet lag but the world seems sharper in California. Like the air is cleaner or the colours are more saturated. 

He allows himself to just drive. He just takes whatever exits and turns he wants. 

Doyoung winds up in a town area in a canyon of some sort -- he has no idea where he is.

But there's a sign telling him that there's a telecom store, so he pulls into a strip mall. He figures that he needs an American SIM card and phone plan if he isn't going to go completely crazy this summer. 

When he's all signed up for a plan, he finally can check his notifications but Taeyong still hasn't messaged him. Doyoung can't help but feel disappointed, even though it's not like Taeyong has any reason to reach out. If he were in Seoul, it would be the same. They both live their own lives. 

But then Doyoung checks his Instagram and sees that Taeyong posted a photo with Yeri. 

He closes Instagram and puts his phone in his back pocket. He's just torturing himself at this point, he thinks as he starts to walk back to the car. 

"Hey!" he hears suddenly. 

Not a second later, someone touches his arm. Doyoung whirls around, surprised at the touch. A man is standing there, looking nervous. 

"Hey. You dropped this," the man says, and holds out a phone. Doyoung's phone. Doyoung pats his back pocket, and sure enough there's no phone there. 

"Oh. Thank you," he says, and reaches out for the phone. Then he looks up at the person who's returned his phone. 

Doyoung has known Taeyong for a decade, he doesn't often get affected by a person's appearance, but this man breaks that.

Perfect jawline. High cheeks. Pretty lips. He might be the prettiest man Doyoung has ever seen if it weren't for the cold eyes.

He's all long legs, lean waist, and broad shoulders that hint at muscled arms. Even his fingers are attractive. He looks utterly untouchable. If he were Korean, he'd be an idol or a model for sure. 

"Hey," the guy says, and it takes a moment for Doyoung to process that the handsome guy is actually speaking to him. 

"Oh," he says after a beat. "Sorry. I guess I'm a bit out of it. Thank you so much." 

"It's all good," the guy says and offers him a small smile. Doyoung can't help but notice his dimples. "Are you from Korea?" the guy asks. 

"Hmm?" 

"I wasn't being creepy, but your phone screen was on and it was in Korean." 

"Oh. Yeah. I'm visiting for the summer from Korea," Doyoung blurts out. He has no reason to tell this stranger that. 

"Cool," the man says, quirking an almost smile. 

"Thank you so much again for returning my phone," Doyoung says uncomfortably and gives him a funny half-bow before he's even realized. The man gives him a small wave. Doyoung lets himself look once more at the handsome man as he turns and leaves. The sun hits the man's brown hair, glinting in the light.

He doesn't have anything else that he needs to do for now, so he types Jessica's address into the GPS on his phone. 

He's routed onto the highway, which means that he's forced to sit in traffic. Jessica wasn't kidding when she said the traffic was bad, Doyoung thinks. 

His mind wanders to Taeyong -- what Taeyong is doing, if Taeyong misses him. He knows he's being ridiculous. He came to California to try and get over his feelings for Taeyong and here he is thinking about Taeyong again. 

He and Taeyong have been best friends for years. They met in university, and they've been stuck together ever since. They're both introverted planners. They both like the same kinds of books and movies. They're both accountants. They're happy to sit in silence and play games or browse the internet. The two of them are great friends, and Doyoung can tell him anything. Anything except the fact that Doyoung is in love with him. And he can never tell Taeyong, there's no point. Taeyong and Yeri have been together for over two years now. 

Before Doyoung left, Taeyong had talked about asking her to marry him. And of course, Doyoung encouraged him. He knows how happy Yeri makes Taeyong -- who is he to stand in the way of their happiness?

He just wishes he didn't have a big knot in his stomach whenever he thinks about watching Taeyong walk down the aisle. He didn't come to California to run away from his feelings, but they certainly added to the strange jumble of confusion in his head. 

He lounges around the house, watching TV until Jessica gets home from work after seven.

"Sorry. Work is crazy," she says apologetically, unloading two bags of takeout containers onto the dining room table. "Soon I'll have some time off and we can go do fun things."

"No worries. I'm the one imposing on you," Doyoung says, opening up the containers of Korean fried chicken and pulling out chopsticks for each of them for side dishes. "Oh yum. Thank you."

"But still. I'm the hostess," dhe replies with a smile. "I can't just let you do everything by yourself." 

"I don't mind spending time by myself. Really," Doyoung insists. "And I can cook." 

"Doyoung," Jessica chides, "I didn't invite you here to be a self-sufficient robot. Takeout is good. And I do cook, I promise. You're here to have fun sometimes."

Doyoung thinks about Jessica's comment about having fun. He isn't sure if that's what he came to America for. Run from his problems, maybe, but seek out fun? Definitely not.

//

The next day Doyoung wakes up at a slightly more reasonable time. Jessica is at work, and suddenly the gravity of his decision to come to California hits him. 

He flew all the way to California and he doesn't know anyone except his aunt. And she's been home for about three hours, as far as Doyoung can tell. He'd quit his job early for this trip. He leased his apartment. He has no plans here or in Korea. 

What is he doing? What is he going to do all summer? Should he just go back home? That's what his parents half-expect, he wagers. He'd be more of a failure if he bailed early. Something close to regret writhes in his stomach.

He forces himself to take a deep breath. 

Jessica doesn't have any in the house, she doesn't drink it. Doyoung figures that a coffee will make him feel better. Or, at least put off his decision for a few minutes while he goes and gets a coffee. 

He forces himself again just to get in the car and drive to the closest Starbucks according to his Google Maps. 

His heart rate has calmed down slightly by the time he gets to Starbucks and stands in line.  
He tries to focus on being present, instead of feeling like a monumental fuckup. 

The Starbucks isn't very busy, but the line is moving slowly, so Doyoung has time to look at who's in the coffee shop. One of the people in line is a tall man wearing expensive looking clothes. It kind of looks like the man who returned his phone, Doyoung thinks.

He looks closer, helped by the man turning his head to look at the menu.

It's unmistakably the guy from the day before who gave him back his phone. 

Doyoung can't help but stare a little bit. The man seems even more handsome today.

The man looks backward and suddenly their eyes meet. Doyoung can't seem to make himself look away, even if it's impolite. 

There's no way he'd remember the person who dropped their phone the day before, Doyoung thinks. He certainly wouldn't, even if the person was as handsome as the man standing in line. 

But then they end up standing close together while they wait for their coffees. 

"Hey, you're the guy who dropped your phone yesterday in West Hills right?" the man asks. Doyoung looks over and their eyes meet. 

"Oh. Yeah," he answers. He can't really believe that this handsome guy is speaking to him. 

"Yeah." 

"Small world," the man says, and he sort of laughs, but there's something unmistakably hollow in his eyes. "Does your phone still work? It didn't fall from very high but you never know." 

"Yes," Doyoung replies awkwardly. "It all looks good." 

"Cool," the man replies. "I'm Jaehyun." It takes Doyoung a moment to recognize the Korean name because of the American pronunciation. 

"I'm Doyoung," Doyoung says, forcing himself to speak casually.

"You're definitely Korean then," Jaehyun says.

"Yeah," Doyoung replies. "Definitely am."

"I was born there but I moved when I was one."

"Oh, I see," Doyoung says. Jaehyun doesn't have a trace of an accent. 

"So. How do you like America?"

"It's good," Doyoung replies. He doesn't know what to say. That it's overwhelming? That he wants to go home? That anything would be better than feeling stuck in Korea? That he feels stuck talking in a language that feels clumsy in his mouth?

Jaehyun laughs, but it doesn't reach his eyes. 

"Have you done much?" Jaehyun asks. Doyoung wonders idly if Jaehyun is a serial killer. 

"I just got here a few days ago," Doyoung admits. "So no." 

"Oh okay," Jaehyun says with a laugh. "You have whole the summer though. That's a lot of time." 

"Mmm," Doyoung says, feeling profoundly awkward. 

"Your English is good," Jaehyun says, and Doyoung realizes that for all that Jaehyun is handsome, he's just as awkward as Doyoung. 

"Thank you. I practiced a lot before I came here," Doyoung replies, hoping that Jaehyun isn't being sarcastic. He really has been practicing hard but his accent shows through no matter what. 

"It paid off then," Jaehyun says and Doyoung feels himself flush.

There's an awkward pause.

"Are you meeting someone here?" Jaehyun asks. 

"No, I just thought I'd come get a coffee and hang out. Maybe think about some things to do," Doyoung says. "I'm still jet lagged."

There's a pause. 

"Do you mind if I join you?" Jaehyun asks suddenly. "I don't have anywhere to be. I could... give you some recommendations on things to do." 

Doyoung looks at Jaehyun. They're strangers. Jaehyun is just a person who returned his phone to him. 

"No, I don't mind. Go ahead," he answers.

They settle down at a table in the corner. 

"So, are you a foodie?" Jaehyun asks. 

"Foodie?" Doyoung asks, confused. He hasn't heard the word before. 

"Do you like trying new and different food?" 

"Yeah." 

"Perfect. I've got so many recommendations," Jaehyun says. "I'm an LA expert."

Jaehyun then proceeds to rattle off a bunch of places to eat, and things to do. Having his wholehearted attention makes Doyoung feel interesting. 

"Thank you. That's really helpful. I don't know anyone here but my aunt," Doyoung says, giving Jaehyun a small smile. 

"Give me your phone," Jaehyun instructs. Doyoung hesitates for a moment but gives up and hands his unlocked phone over to Jaehyun who quickly types his contact info in and then calls his own phone. "Now you know someone here." Jaehyun says, and offers Doyoung a dimpled smile. He has the kind of smile that makes girls go goo-goo eyed, Doyoung thinks. He barely manages to smile back.

//

  
The next morning Doyoung's phone buzzes as he scrolls through Instagram. He checks it, half expecting a message from Taeyong.

Jaehyun  
Hey, its coffee shop jaehyun :)

Doyoung looks down at his phone, half in disbelief. He'd thought that Jaehyun was being polite when he asked for his phone number. He hadn't held any expectations that Jaehyun would actually text him. 

Doyoung  
Hey!

Jaehyun  
how are you

Doyoung  
Good!  
How are you?

Jaehyun  
Lol ur so much more enthusiastic over text  
I'm good though

Doyoung  
??

Jaehyun  
Its a good thing  
Ur just more chill in person  
no !!! in person

Doyoung  
...  
don't make fun of me  
english isn't my first language

Jaehyun  
never  
;) 

//

Doyoung's phone buzzes the next day. His mom is calling. 

"Doyoung-ah," she greets warmly when he answers. 

"Hi Mom," he says, unexpectedly relieved to hear her voice.

"How are you? How's America?" 

"It's good," Doyoung says. "And I'm good too. I'm finally getting over my jetlag."

"And Jessica?" his mother asks. 

"She's great," Doyoung answers. "Busy but great."

"Is she neglecting you?" she asks sharply, and Doyoung realizes his mistake.   
  
"Of course not," Doyoung says. "She's working hard but we see each other every day." 

"Good. Are you eating well? Sleeping enough?" 

"Yes," Doyoung answers dutifully.

"Lots of Korean food? You have to be careful with American food. It'll make you sick. You know they add things to the food there when they grow it, not like here in Korea." 

"I'll be careful Mom," Doyoung replies. 

He answers some more of her questions about traffic and food and some forms for his enlistment before she has to hang up. 

He notices that she doesn't ask him to say hello to Jessica for her. Doyoung knows that things have always been tense between his mom and her sister. It must not have been easy for Jessica to leave Korea and start a whole new life by herself. And his mother has never exactly been easygoing. Doyoung knows that she's always resented Jessica for leaving. 

As he got older though, he started to understand her. The life his parents want for him -- career, marriage, home, kids -- he doesn't know if that's what he wants. He can't marry in Korea, at least not who he wants to marry. It would be difficult to have kids. He fucking hates being an accountant, but he got the job right out of university and he doesn't know how to do anything else. And he can barely afford to rent an apartment, let alone buying anything in Seoul.

Jessica might work a lot but she can live her life the way she wants to, Doyoung thinks. 

//

Jaehyun  
Are you doing anything today

Doyoung  
Lol no  
Maybe watch netflix

Jaehyun  
Wanna get lunch? 

Doyoung doesn't know why Jaehyun is humoring him. They don't know each other, not really. Jaehyun is infinitely cooler and more handsome than Doyoung will ever be. He

But at the same time, what does he have to lose? It's not like he has other plans or knows anybody else. And Jaehyun doesn't seem like the serial killer type. 

Doyoung  
sure

//

Contrary action can be a good thing, Doyoung reminds himself as he waits outside the restaurant Jaehyun told him to meet at. He's nervous though. Nervous to see Jaehyun again. They're strangers, even if Jaehyun seems pretty cool.

He's staring at his phone when a black Range Rover with tinted windows pulls into the parking lot, and Jaehyun gets out. He's just wearing joggers and a baggy black t-shirt, but it somehow looks expensive. Or maybe that's just the watch Jaehyun is wearing, Doyoung thinks. 

Jaehyun gives him a lazy wave. 

"Are you ready for the best Korean barbeque you've had in LA?" Jaehyun asks as a greeting. 

"I haven't had any other Korean barbeque in LA yet," Doyoung says. 

"Well then it'll definitely be the best," Jaehyun replies and Doyoung rolls his eyes. 

The restaurant is three stories high, and Jaehyun must be a regular because the hostess whisks them to a more secluded table on the second floor. It's like a regular meat restaurant, Doyoung thinks, just much larger. 

Jaehyun orders a huge amount of food for the two of them. The waitresses keep flirting with Jaehyun but he doesn't seem to notice. 

"Eat up," Jaehyun says. 

"How am I supposed to fit all this food in my body?" Doyoung asks, looking at the table strewn with plates. 

"Effort," Jaehyun answers, and starts putting food on Doyoung's plate. "So. You must be close to my age?"

"I'm twenty seven," Doyoung says. 

"You were born in 1995?" Jaehyun asks, and Doyoung remembers that they don't count years in the same way.

"1996." Doyoung corrects. 

"You're older than me then. I was born in 1997," Jaehyun says. 

"You look older," Doyoung says and then pauses, his eyes widening. "Er. I'm not saying you look old." 

Jaehyun bursts into laughter. 

"Thank you. It's okay though. You look younger than you are." 

"Younger?" Doyoung asks. 

"It's your cheeks," Jaehyun says and pokes his own cheek. "It's fine. You'll age like my grandmother probably, and look twenty until you're seventy."

"I can only hope," Doyoung says. 

"So. What are you going to do after your trip?" Jaehyun asks as the pork belly sizzles on the grill. 

"I have to enlist when I get back." Doyoung says, and tries not to sound disappointed. 

"Enlist?" Jaehyun asks. "Oh shit. In the military you mean." 

"Yeah." 

"That sucks," Jaehyun says. "How long do you have to serve for? Two years?" 

"Eighteen months," Doyoung answers. "That's what my letter said." 

"That's crazy. My dad never talks about when he was in the military," Jaehyun says, looking like he's thinking deeply. 

"My dad loved being in the military," Doyoung says with a sigh. "Something about being with all the guys, serving for the country. And also they got free alcohol at the bars close to the base." 

Jaehyun laughs. 

"I don't take you for a free soju with the boys kind of guy," Jaehyun says. 

"I'm not," Doyoung confirms. 

"You don't seem excited." 

"I'm... I don't know what I am," Doyoung admits, taking a bite of beef. It tastes like home.

"That's okay. I don't know what I am either," Jaehyun says. 

It ends up being easier than Doyoung might've thought to talk to Jaehyun. Doyoung feels like he doesn't stumble as much over his words. If he needs to clarify something, Jaehyun will repeat or explain without complaint.

"This was nice," Jaehyun says at the end of the meal. 

"Yeah," Doyoung says. "Good restaurant recommendation." 

"Thanks. I've eaten a lot of mediocre Korean barbeque."

There's a moment of awkward silence.

"If you ever need any recommendations on things to do or places to eat, just let me know," Jaehyun says quickly. "I'd be happy to tell you. Think of me as your personal tour guide."

"Oh. Thanks," Doyoung replies. 

Jaehyun smiles at him in response. It's definitely awkward, but they both seem to be making an effort, which Doyoung takes to be a success.

//

Doyoung's first week in LA passes slowly. He gets up every day, goes to get an iced coffee, and goes for an aimless drive. He doesn't text Jaehyun. He doesn't know what he would even say. They're slightly more than strangers now at least but he isn't sure if Jaehyun would want to talk more. 

//

"I'm going out for lunch with my friends today. You should meet them," Jessica says. 

"Are you sure? I don't want to intrude on your time with your friends," Doyoung says. 

"I want you to meet them. I've been telling them about you for years now. They're curious."

"For years?" 

"I only have one nephew," Jessica wheedles. "How can I not talk about you?" 

Doyoung blushes at her words. 

//

"We went to school together. They're my best friends," Jessica explains on the drive over into LA proper.

Jessica's friends are waiting at the vegan restaurant for them, one of them with a baby carrier at her feet. 

"So this is the nephew!" one of them says when Jessica and Doyoung get close enough. 

"Hello," Doyoung says and bows politely. 

"He's so cute," the other one says. "Oh my god Jessica how have you been keeping him to yourself?" 

Jessica is laughing. 

"Doyoung, this is Tiffany and Taeyeon. And that's Soohyun. Tiff, Tae, this is Doyoung," she says. Doyoung bows again. 

"Please stop that," Tiffany says. "My back is getting sore just looking at you bow to me."

"He relaxes eventually," Jessica says. "He's trying his best." 

Doyoung narrows his eyes at her and Tiffany and Taeyeon laugh. 

"It's nice to meet you officially," Taeyeon says. "At this point, you're our nephew." 

//

Doyoung feels entirely out of his element ordering vegan food. He's looking up what jackfruit is on his phone when Tiffany speaks to him. 

"So how are you liking California?" Tiffany asks. 

"It's good," Doyoung answers. 

"What have you done so far?" Taeyeon asks. 

"Not much, but I have a list of some stuff to do and restaurants to eat at," Doyoung says, and then lists off some of the things Jaehyun recommended. 

"Do you have some friends here? Those are some local finds," Tiffany asks. Doyoung doesn't miss Jessica's curious look. 

"No. Just from blogs and stuff," he says. He isn't sure how to explain Jaehyun just yet. 

"If you ever need any recommendations, I'm a complete foodie," Taeyeon says. Doyoung can't help but feel pleased that he recognizes the word from Jaehyun.

"Thank you, I appreciate it."

"Any time. I think Tiffany and I are just as excited as Jessica to have you here," Taeyeon says, smiling warmly. 

"How old is Soohyun?" Doyoung asks, eager to change the topic of conversation from himself. 

"She's about to turn one!" Tiffany says, and launches into a story about planning Soohyun's birthday party at a golf club.

//

A few days later, Doyoung's phone pings.

Jaehyun  
hey do you wanna come over and game?

Doyoung  
to your house?

Jaehyun  
Yeah!

Doyoung  
Also im terrible at everything except Starcraft

Jaehyun  
You play... starcraft?

Doyoung  
...  
Anyways

Jaehyun  
:D   
See you soon nerd

And then he sends an address link on Google Maps.

Doyoung grabs his phone and wallet, and follows the directions.

It's almost a half hour drive from his aunt's house through twisty canyon roads before he turns onto the Pacific Coast Highway.

And then he's driving on a road that's the exact stereotype of what he imagined California to be -- palm trees, hills, and beaches. Endless beaches. 

The ocean twinkles beside him as he drives. It seems as if the view is in 4K, Doyoung thinks. It seems too perfect. The sun is hidden behind the clouds, but he can only imagine how spectacular the view must be when the sun is shining. 

A text from Jaehyun displays over the GPS screen when Doyoung is ten minutes away. 

jaehyun  
btw  
82301  
The code for the gate

Doyoung swipes it away and continues driving. The GPS tells him to turn onto a small side road with no real signs of life, 

There's a small pole outside the gate with a console for Doyoung to enter the code in, so he does, and the gate swings open

Doyoung drives down the surprisingly long driveway until he gets to the house. And he realizes why Jaehyun gave him a gate code. 

Jaehyun lives in a house that doesn't even seem real, Doyoung thinks as he parks carefully. Jessica's ten year old Lexus looks so out of place in the driveway. 

Every detail has been perfectly designed -- the flowers, the hardscaped concrete pads leading up to the house, the trees that Doyoung can't recognize but are undoubtedly more expensive than his apartment. 

And the house -- it doesn't look particularly large from far away but as Doyoung approaches what he hopes is the front door, he can see it's true size. It's all shining glass, clean white, and dark cement. It's more like a spaceship than a building. 

Jaehyun opens the door right away. He dressed in shorts and a black t-shirt that hugs his chest just right. Doyoung is almost distracted from ogling at Jaehyun's house. 

"Hey," Jaehyun says, with a smile. 

"Hey," Doyoung says back, trying not to outright gawk. It's hard not to -- not when Jaehyun's house is like something out of a movie. He's never seen anything like it and he doesn't want to think about how much it costs. 

He takes his shoes off, careful not to get any dirt on the white marble tiled floors. 

"Sorry, I don't have house shoes for you," Jaehyun says, his hands in his pockets. He seems oddly nervous, Doyoung thinks. 

Seeing Jaehyun's bare feet makes him seem more fallible. 

"It's fine. My feet are clean," Doyoung says. "Why did I say that?" He asks and Jaehyun huffs out a laugh. 

"Alright come on in," he says, and leads Doyoung along the long hallway lined with living walls of plants into the main part of the house. 

It's an open concept -- the living room flowing into the kitchen and the dining room, all of which flows onto a huge patio overlooking the ocean. Everything has clearly been decorated professionally. There's no indication of Jaehyun's personality at all. It's straight from the pages of an architectural magazine. 

The back wall isn't even a real wall -- it's a huge door that's opened up to let the breeze in. 

All of it with a spectacular view of the Pacific Ocean. The sun isn't out today but Doyoung can just imagine how gorgeous the view must be on a sunny day.

Doyoung hears the distinct sound of claws on tile. He looks down the hall to see a dog making its way slowly towards them.

In every objective way, the dog is ugly -- scraggly beard, a snaggletooth sticking out, and fur in every shade of brown and grey. 

"Look at her!" Jaehyun coos and scoops the dog up, ignoring the dog's huff. He kisses the top of her head. "Kkamjjg-i," he coos and Doyoung can't even bring himself to laugh because the sound of Jaehyun speaking Korean is even more overwhelming then he could've imagined. 

"She's cute," Doyoung says, even if that isn't the word he would use to describe the dog.

"Doyoung, this is Mimi. Mimi, this is Doyoung," Jaehyun says in that soft voice. Doyoung smiles. Mimi doesn't look particularly impressed but she licks Jaehyun's hand anyways. Jaehyun is grinning. 

Mimi looks out of place in the house, like she's visiting. Like Doyoung. Except for Mimi, and the small signs of her presence: a fluffy dog bed in a few of the rooms, chew toys littered in the living room, a box of dog treats next to the protein powder on the counter. Otherwise there'd be nothing to suggest that anyone lives there.

"Do you want something to drink? I have coffee, juice, and stuff," Jaehyun says, putting Mimi down. "Wine, beer, tequila."

"Coffee is fine," Doyoung replies, and follows Jaehyun into the kitchen. Mimi follows Doyoung, sniffing at the leg of his jeans.

The kitchen is sleek and minimal, done in tones of white and pale cool grey -- if there wasn't any food out it would look like no one cooked.

"Do your parents live here too?" Doyoung asks. There doesn't appear to be signs of anybody else, but the house is so impersonal that it's hard to tell. 

"No. Well, sometimes. But right now they're staying in Honolulu," Jaehyun says. "They live there most of the year when they aren't travelling." 

"Oh," Doyoung says. He wants to ask what they do to afford this house and be able to travel, but he knows how rude that is.

"What do you do for work?" he asks instead, hoping that's more polite. 

"I'm finishing getting my MBA. So I'm not working right now. But once I get my degree, my parents will find something for me."

So he is a chaebol, Doyoung thinks. Just an American one.

"What about you?" 

"I'm an accountant. Or I was, until I quit. I didn't really like my job." 

"What are you going to do after you get out of the military?"

"I don't know," Doyoung admits. It's the first time he's said those words aloud. Everyone else has asked, and he's fibbed. 

"That's okay." Jaehyun says. "I know you'll figure it out."

They play video games for the rest of the afternoon in Jaehyun's enormous basement TV room. Doyoung really is terrible, but Jaehyun humours him and they switch to easier games.

It's more fun than he expected, Doyoung thinks as Jaehyun calls for delivery sushi. He hasn't had a fun time with a friend in ages. Work was busy, and then he was moving and Taeyong was busy with Yeri. 

It feels good to just laugh and shoot some imaginary zombies. 

"It's going to be here in forty minutes," Jaehyun says when he gets off the phone.

"How much do I owe you?"

"Don't worry about it," Jaehyun answers with a wave of his hand. "I paid."

"You already paid? You should've let me know."

"It's no big deal."

"I should've paid because I'm older," Doyoung insists. 

"It's really fine," Jaehyun says with a smile. "I don't care about that age stuff."

"At least let me pay next time then," Doyoung says. 

"Deal."

They eat dinner on Jaehyun's patio, overlooking the ocean. Even though the sun isn't out, the scene is gorgeous. 

"This view is amazing," Doyoung says between bites of eel sushi and scallop nigiri.

"I know," Jaehyun says. "I keep wondering if it'll get old but it never does."

"It must be quiet living here by yourself though."

Jaehyun looks at him curiously, like he wasn't expecting that comment. 

"It's not too bad," Jaehyun says, which doesn't reveal anything much. Jaehyun seems to be quite private, Doyoung notes. 

"You have a dog at least, which is nice." 

"I do," Jaehyun says, and looks fondly at Mimi dozing in a plush dog bed by the pool. 

"I guess you have enough to do in your house."

Jaehyun laughs. 

"Something like that," he says.

"Thanks for having me over."

"Don't sound so formal," Jaehyun replies with an easy smile. "We're friends now." 

Doyoung smiles tentatively back.

//

When he's leaving, Mimi follows Doyoung to the front door and she nudges his leg when he puts his shoes on. 

"It's weird," Jaehyun says, looking at Doyoung carefully. "She doesn't usually like anyone." 

Being looked at by Jaehyun like that makes Doyoung feel like he's got live wires under his skin. Like maybe he'd spark if Jaehyun touched him. 

//

The sky is just starting to darken as Doyoung drives home. He hadn't meant to stay at Jaehyun's house for so long.

Doyoung drives home with a warm feeling in his chest. He hadn't expected to make any friends in California. He'd thought that he'd just spent time with Jessica, and maybe some of her friends. And then when he arrived he'd thought that he'd be alone.

  
//

"I was just about to call and ask where you were," Jessica says when Doyoung gets home. 

"Sorry," Doyoung says. "I lost track of time."

He doesn't know why it feels as if he's lying to Jessica. 

//

Jaehyun  
Its nice out  
Want to come over and swim?

//

The drive to Jaehyun's house is even more stunning now that the sun is shining. It's only been a few days since Doyoung drove over, but the drive seems almost unfamiliar in the sunshine.

Jaehyun answers the door in his swimsuit. If Doyoung thought that Jaehyun was unfairly attractive before, the feeling only gets worse when he sees Jaehyun in a swimsuit. 

He's got a full six-pack, and he has a tan line that ends right above his swimsuit. He could be on a magazine cover. People would pay money to see Jaehyun's abs.

Doyoung would probably pay money to see Jaehyun's abs.

"Come on in," Jaehyun says with an easy smile.

Doyoung rips his eyes from Jaehyun's abs and follows him inside.

Jaehyun shows him to a chic bathroom where he can change into his swimsuit and a baggy t-shirt for swimming. The hand soap beside the sink smells like expensive herbs. 

Jaehyun stares at him when he comes out.

"Are you going in the pool with your shirt on?" Jaehyun asks.

"The sun is out," Doyoung explains.

"We're not in Korea. You're allowed to get a tan," Jaehyun says with a laugh.

So Doyoung strips off his shirt. Jaehyun is looking at him curiously, like a fisherman watching the end of his line. Doyoung's body is nothing like Jaehyun's -- he's lean with broad shoulders and a slim waist, whereas Jaehyun is just fit all over. 

"Wow you're pale," Jaehyun says. "I think I'm being blinded."

"Oh shush," Doyoung says with an eyeroll.

The pool is a perfect aqua blue next to the inky blue of the ocean. Even though the day is warm, the pool is heated and the water feels heavenly when Doyoung sinks into it.

"Wow," he says. "Why do you ever leave this pool?" Jaehyun laughs.

"I'd get all wrinkly eventually."

"It'd be worth it."

Doyoung lifts his legs up and starfishes on the top of the water, closing his eyes. The sun beats down on him.

It's quiet — he can hear seagulls, the ocean, the water lapping against the side of the pool.

And then all of a sudden Jaehyun squirts water at his face

"Hey!" Doyoung sputters, spitting water out of his mouth. Jaehyun laughs, a bright happy sound. "Rude," he says. 

"Do you want a smoothie?" Jaehyun asks. Doyoung nods. 

They spend the day lounging in the sun or floating in the pool. 

By the end of the day the skin on Doyoung's back feels warm and prickly, he taps at it and winces. 

"I think I'm sunburned, can you see anything?" Doyoung asks, and turns so Jaehyun can see his back.

"Ouch," Jaehyun says. "I think I have some aloe vera if you want?"

"Yes please," Doyoung says. "I should've put sunscreen on."

He waits while Jaehyun goes to get aloe vera.

"It's organic," Jaehyun says, like that's important.

"Okay?" Doyoung says. 

He smears the gel on but he can't reach the middle of his back, which is where the worst of his burn seems to be.

Doyoung can feel a clump slide down his back into the waistband of his swimsuit. 

"Here," Jaehyun says, gently smacking the bottle out of Doyoung's hands. "I'll do it."

The combination of the cold gel and Jaehyun's touch makes Doyoung stiffen. 

"Relax," Jaehyun says. "It'll make you feel better." Doyoung tries to ignore the other situations that Jaehyun could be saying those words in. 

Jaehyun smooths the gel on. His hand lingers on the base of Doyoung's spine for just a moment too long. A turtle slow moment, Doyoung thinks. Long enough for Doyoung to imagine leaning back into the touch.

"Thanks," he mumbles. Jaehyun passes him the bottle. 

"You'll want to put some more of this on before you go to bed or the burn will hurt in the night."

"I will," Doyoung says. He feels a little strange 

"I'm craving a burger," Jaehyun says. "Do you want to go get one?" 

"Let's go," Doyoung agrees. He's hungry from swimming, and it's been hours since Jaehyun made them smoothies. 

Jaehyun opens the garage door. The Range Rover Doyoung had seen Jaehyun drive is parked next to a gleaming white Ferrari convertible. Doyoung's mouth nearly falls open.

"Should we take the Ferrari or the Range Rover?" Jaehyun asks. 

"The Ferrari," Doyoung answers easily. Jaehyun grins in response. 

"I like you," Jaehyun says. "Come on, get in." 

The engine turns on with a roar. Doyoung has never been in a car like this before, with the low seats and the loud engine. He doesn't feel like himself in it. 

Jaehyun turns onto the PCH and despite the sunny day, the wind in Doyoung's hair cools him down. He can see the stares they get in the Ferrari, but he thinks that people might just be staring at Jaehyun's jawline. 

"We're going to In n Out, is that okay?" Jaehyun asks him at a stoplight. 

"That's fine," Doyoung answers. 

It turns out that the closest In n Out to Jaehyun's house is by Jessica's house. Doyoung knows that she's at work, but he can't help but feel strange at the idea of her seeing him in Jaehyun's fancy car. It would be easy for her to assume that he and Jaehyun were something that they aren't. 

"This is by my aunt's house," Doyoung says. Jaehyun eyes the neighbourhood. Doyoung knows that it's nothing like Jaehyun's house. All of these houses were built by the same developer, and they blend into the brown of the landscape around them. 

"Oh, you live pretty close to me then," Jaehyun says. Doyoung wonders in what world a thirty minute drive is close. Los Angeles, he supposes. "I'm glad you don't have to drive far."

//

"Do you know what you want to order?" Jaehyun asks as they pull into the drive-through. Doyoung is wondering how they're going to take their food from the window in the low car. 

"Yeah. I did some research the other day," Doyoung says, checking his phone to look at the notes he made for things to order at different restaurants. 

"I'm sure you did," Jaehyun replies, hiding his laughter. Doyoung shoots him a dirty look. 

"I like to be prepared," he retorts.

"It's one of your best characteristics." 

"Stop being sarcastic."

"I'm not," Jaehyun says, and then bursts into laughter. Doyoung just flicks his arm. 

"Can you just order me a Double-Double animal-style please?" he asks. 

//

It feels ridiculous to eat fast food in a Ferrari, but Jaehyun pulls into a nearby parking lot after they get their food and starts eating, so Doyoung does the same. 

"In n Out might be overrated," Jaehyun says between bites of his burger. "But fuck if it doesn't hit the spot on a sunny day." 

It's the dumbest moment to realize it, Doyoung thinks, but his prickle of attraction towards Jaehyun has turned into something a little stronger. There's sauce beside Jaehyun's mouth from his burger, and Doyoung wants to lick it up. 

"Is everything okay?" Jaehyun asks, interrupting Doyoung's thoughts. He shoves his burger in his mouth and nods. 


End file.
